IT'S HERE! MY BOOK THAT I PROMISED YOU, From A Teacher To Parents: Stories To Heal Your Life So You Can Help Your Child Succeed. It is on amazon.com enter code B078MXJLXS or click on this link to purchase your electronic copy. Would welcome a review if you are so inclined.
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Guiding Teens As long as you live, keep learning how to live. –Seneca Dr. Brené Brown cites shame as “The most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.” She contends that it is most “destructive” because it grows exponentially in our lives through “secrecy, silence and judgement." Mina and Bob are two hard-working parents living in the suburbs of Westchester and run a business together in the town. They are convinced that there is nothing more they can do about their son, Lyle. The tween has fallen in with the wrong crowd and is on a downward spiral with ‘No Good’ written all over it. His grades are the same. Mina and Bob tried everything: telling him off about his worthlessness, punishment and counseling. Nothing worked and they were terrified they would lose him. They felt ashamed. Excerpt from the chapter on "Guiding Teens" - From A Teacher to Parents: Stories To Heal Your Life So You Can Help Your Child Succeed. Self-Control Midlife is the time to let go of a dominant ego and to contemplate the deeper significance of human existence. –Carl Jung The Ego wants to be first. It wants to be loved to the exclusion of everyone else. It feels fear and reacts to that fear. Jung says the Ego is only a small part of who we really are. There is constant communication between the Ego and the deepest part of ourselves. Confidence and high self-esteem are the result of listening to that deeper part of ourselves. Excerpt from the chapter on "Self Control" - From A Teacher To Parents: Stories To Heal Your Life So You Can Help Your Child Succeed. Teachers and Mentors None of us got where we are solely by pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps. We got here because somebody – a parent, a teacher, an Ivy League crony or a few nuns – bent down and helped us pick up our boots. –Thurgood Marshall Some call it Spiderman’s Spidey Senses, intuition, gut feelings, second sight. Whatever you call it, when it comes to raising children we need it in spades. Unfortunately, stress undermines our ability to tune into this magical state when we need it most. These little people we raise constantly push the boundaries. When that happens, we need eyes in the back of our heads to raise our children well. Better yet, we need helpers on our sometimes challenging journey. “She is not doing it, Ms. Bonner, over my dead body!” My heart skipped and skidded. I was on the phone with my daughter’s French teacher Monsieur Durand. What had my daughter not done? In that short amount of time, I ran several horrible scenarios in my mind. “What’s the matter Monsieur Durand?” I stuttered. “Your daughter is going to do French II. She is one of the best, if not the best in class. But she has signed up for Health Science instead.” I heaved a sigh of relief. The situation was not as bad as I thought. The matter could be fixed, whatever the cause. This was the conversation I wanted to have with any teacher. Some people may think it heavy handed but I love a teacher who is all in. My daughter, who was excellent at French, had decided to do another subject. She loved French. What had precipitated this sudden change? I found out that she had decided to follow her group of friends to the new class. That was her sole reason for skipping French! She needed to be with her friends. Needing to be reasonable, I discussed the matter when she came home. I cajoled and got nowhere. So I gave her an ultimatum. She could eat with her friends during break and chat during lunch but I put my foot down. She was not going to run away from French II because she loved her friends. That was not a good enough reason. Needless to say, that semester, she took French II. It was important for me to know whether or not peer pressure played a role. But it was even more vital to partner with an emotionally invested teacher. Excerpt from Chapter 1 "Teachers and Mentors" - Stories to Heal Your Life So You Can Help Your Child Succeed Parents struggling with unresolved issues from the past can make poor choices when raising their children. The joyful curiosity and emotional strength children need to succeed at academic learning while they enjoy social well-being get sabotaged. Teacher, parent and seminar facilitator Andrene Bonner responds to the requests for more from parents who want to know how to break the cycle of the past and get back in touch with their school age children. This first book in the series, From A Teacher To Parents, offers moving, easy to remember and inspiring stories on parenting principles, emotional healing and school performance. Bonner’s stories help parents take a gentle, non-threatening look at their limiting beliefs and what they may have passed on to their children. With awareness, parents can correct their course and help their children develop more problem solving skills, courage, adaptability, self-discipline, self-care, even vocabulary, among other strengths. This book is a must for bedside tables and long commutes. Learn how parents and teachers can work together consciously for children’s resilience and success. Coming to Amazon's Kindle soon! In today's world, security has become a matter of urgency, especially in the wake of terrorism. Governments and corporations are ramping up their security. Places of worship and schools are taking extra precautions to protect their congregations and students. Parents are instituting safety rules to protect their children from danger. Today, I pause to meditate on the principle of "Divine Protection" from The Dolphy Code. Divine Protection The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? Psalms 118:6 You are my divine protector and ally; therefore, I have no reason to be afraid. Still, every now and then, I am confronted with danger. When I travel on the subways or the bus, there is so much hostility or the threat of attacks. People randomly inflict bodily harm on others. Where is God in all of this? Right here with me but I have forgotten that you are always present in every situation whether it is a physical or perceived threat. I need to trust you more. I want to walk hand in hand with you, the highest power. In moments of fear, help me to choose to remember and call on your Divine love and protection. You are my first responder. Oftentimes, we get bogged down by what we think we need to accomplish and acquire. We lose focus on those things that really matter in our life like love and family. In "Life's True Purpose," a chapter in The Dolphy Code, I am guided to deepen my trust by focusing on that which lasts forever. Life’s True Purpose Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Matthew 6:25a Sometimes I obsess about dressing for school or work. I may worry about whether or not I have the right coat for winter or the most beautiful hat for church. Will I look my best in church every week? Unable to stay in balance I may place the wrong amount of attention on food, overspending, eating too much. I may even worry about where the next meal is coming from. You say that life is so much more than the act of eating and the body is more than a clothes horse. What am I doing with the time when I am not eating? I trust in your words of caution. Even as I make good food a priority, I now shift my focus more on you and the purpose for my life. I dedicate my body for your service. With all my heart, I commit my life to those things that last forever and will worry less about those things that fade with time. Faith can move mountains. Sometimes we are faced with problems and we cannot visualize a solution. That is when faith has to kick in to give us the hope and clarity we need. Today, I am trusting that faith will move my mountain and so I turn to the Dolphy Code for guidance. Trust and Faith For the word of the Lord is right and all his works are done in truth. Psalm 33:4 Too stupendous for our human minds, we can’t see your face God but there is a part of us deep within our spirit that recognizes the truth. That’s the beginning of building trust in the Divine. Heavenly God, you are the macrocosm and I am the microcosm made by you. The Hubble Telescope is always discovering vast galaxies that defy our understanding. You created it all. You created me. You are real. You say that “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” The mighty journey with the Holy Spirit begins with one small step of faith. I trust your word. I hold out my hand to you. I step out in faith with you. Amen. Imagine the thrill when Oprah announced today in her online newsletter that Iyanla’s "Trust: Mastering the Four Essentials" is now available in paperback. Whoot! Whoot. The paperback version was released earlier in the month and in timely fashion for those who find it hard to make notes on an eReader. You will be making notes in this book especially now in this climate of increased emotional pressure and cultural upheaval. Iyanla is the quintessential sage. This book is a blueprint for soul searching. Her spirituality, erudition and counseling coalesce in her award winning television show, Iyanla : Fix my life. Thank God you don’t have to be on the show to get her counseling. The book is comprehensive and written in that no-nonsense style Iyanla uses to communicate. She’s fabulous and I can’t wait to get my copy. I felt connected to this great principle of trust having recently published my specialty book, The Dolphy Code: Trust in God, Educate Yourself and Serve Others. My book was written for the church led by Pastor Dolphy L. Morrison. Long before he passed away, Pastor Morrison had made trust one of the pillars of his spiritual belief system. The book is half a memoir and half daily wisdom notes consisting of 40 scriptures and contemplations. Here is my lesson for the day from my book on trust: God Is In Everything We Do In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6 Acknowledgement of you is more than a one-day activity or a short grace before a meal. From time to time, I may ask for your help when I have to make important decisions like getting out of a dead-end job, moving to a new town or school district, child rearing or solving a crisis at home or in my business. However, in all my ways, I must seek your guidance and trust your answers. I must trust that you are with me and work in your presence. Whether it’s starting a vegetable garden, monitoring my behavior in the workplace, managing my interactions in the marketplace, eating with friends and strangers, doing the laundry, cooking a meal; I need to invite you into all aspects of my life no matter how mundane or important. I consciously align my will with your will, so I can hear and follow your guidance. For when my life reflects you every day, I know that I am being led in the right direction and I am successful. In my contemplation today, I thought about wholeness, completeness and that old lunar 360 degrees that farmers, astrologers and mystics trusted for life-changing decisions that needed to be made. High tide, low tide, storms sunshine, they could trust this system to help them navigate life and sustain themselves. Consciously working with the Divine universe is much like that. Here’s today’s inspirational message from The Dolphy Code’s section on TRUST. Trust 360 Degrees Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. --Proverbs 3:5 You say that I should exercise my confidence in you with every fiber of my being and not rely purely on what my mind tells me. I am human, without the capacity to see around the proverbial corner because my view and my understanding are limited. I cannot know what is going to happen tomorrow. Time and time again it’s proven to me that I don’t know everything that God knows–that I can see only a single thread of your gigantic plan for my life. In hindsight, I have been given two choices to solve a problem; your advice coming through my gut or my heart, and that ego’s voice. I trusted ego. Trusting ego only compounded the problem and I have had to call on you again. Let me choose to listen to you and trust with my heart from the get go. You give me a clear response. You have never failed me. When I partner with you I always get the best results. |
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December 2023
CategoriesAuthorAward Winning Author, educator, and artivist. |
ANDRENE BONNER
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